Sunday, October 23, 2011

Just One of Those Crabby Days

Holy wow has it been forever. Today I'm just having a crabby day. The rest of my family is in bed and I'm just up being crabby. Not sure what my deal is exactly but man i should probably be in bed trying to sleep whatever my deal is off. We are still working on more projects in our house then I can even count on one hand. We went to our local do it yourself center today, Menards, and I just lost it. I just want our house to be a home again. I don't want to be all jam packed in two rooms and feeling like we are going to burst at the seems. The kids are pretty sick of visiting Menards every weekend as well. Today was not a good day. We needed to purchase so much today to get things rolling again, but instead nothing. We just can't decide what to buy and how to do stuff. The kids were acting up and my husband and I are not on the same page or motivation level. When I finally get back out to the car, I lost it. I cried and cried and cried. For the 30 minute drive home I cried. I am just getting to my, I can't take any more point, and it is so silly. I mean really it frustrates me, I have so much to be thankful for and I'm crying because I've been sleeping in my sons room for the last year instead of my own. I mean really, how selfish am I. So then i cry some more because not only can't I take it anymore but now I feel bad because I feel this way. It is like it is a no win situation. I have so much to be thankful for. I'm Thankful that tomorrow is a new day, thankful that my children still love me even though I raised my voice(ok maybe yelled) at them several times today, thankful that I have everything that I need to sustain life, and I'm thankful for my family. I hate that sometimes I get so crabby and that I have to remind myself of all I'm truly thankful for. Sorry to vent on here especially since I never blog. It does feel a little bette to just get it out though. Well that is going to be it for tonight. Tomorrow is a new day I am so very Thankful for that!


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